Sex and Codependents: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

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So many women I interviewed when writing my book reported saying yes to sex just to get the sex over with and have the person go away. Others reported saying yes to sex to have the person like them. Others reported gaining weight so they wouldn’t have to say no to dating and sex. Many […]

Common Sense Tools for the Friend of Someone Who is Brainwashed!

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Most of us know or have known someone we care about who has come under the influence of a perpetrator using him/her for self-serving purposes. Very smart, educated, healthy people can, for some unknown, reason come under the spell of opportunistic, toxic, and insecure people. It is very puzzling for an observer of this phenomena […]

Common Sense Ways to Stay Friends With a Victim

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Are you frustrated with someone you care about who appears to be the victim of a perpetrator? Do you find yourself getting angry for this person? We all have examples of these situations and we often struggle with what to say, how much time to spend with the victim, and how to continue being their […]

Codependency and Narcissists: Let’s Make Something Go Right! (Part II)

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In Part I, we discussed how the codependent is a perfect victim for the narcissist. We discussed our working definition of codependency: a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing one’s self and others. Codependents take care of others, often ignoring or tolerating their abuse, avoiding […]

Codependency and Narcissists: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Part I)

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For this discussion, we are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing one’s self and others. The people-pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of who we are trying to please. The focus of wanting […]

Codependent or Loving? Part II

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Remember our question from Part One: How do I know if I am acting codependent or loving? Also, let’s review our definitions of “codependent” and “loving”: Love: An intense feeling of deep affection. For the purpose of this article, we will include some more distinctions of love: Brave Kind Trusting Codependency: Codependency, for the purpose of this […]

Codependent or Loving? Part I

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How do I know if I am acting codependent or loving? This is an excellent question and often confusing for many for different reasons. Let’s look at the definitions of codependent and loving and see what we find. Love: An intense feeling of deep affection. For the purpose of this article, we will include some distinctions of love: Truth Strong […]

Why is Giving Up People Pleasing So Difficult?

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This question fascinates me because I have observed over many years many journeys where people struggle with this task (myself included.) Let’s take a look at some of my speculations and see what your thoughts might be on why this is so challenging. Our History and Teachings For women, it is easy to look back […]

The Underbelly of Being Nice

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Why do people fight so hard to be sweet, nice, and accommodating, rather than honest, genuine, and authentic? It is a great question. Cultures are set up and rewards are given if you follow the rules: always say yes, agree to everything, be nice, don’t rock the boat, and tell people things you think will […]

What Our Athletes Can Teach Us About Recovery!

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  Last summer 2016 in particular, we had some pretty spectacular athletic competitions in England, France, and more recently, Rio. Whether you follow cycling, tennis or any of the competitions that took place in Rio, it is hard not to be inspired and learn from some of the stories. Stories and Goals First, all athletes come with […]

 
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