Keep making those Requests
Making requests may seem like such a simple thing. Of course I do that you say to yourself. Check again it can be the root of many negative emotions especially resentment.
I have a friend of many years who as a teenager was experimenting with a rocket that exploded in his face. After many surgeries he was declared blind at the age of 17 years. When he was in his 40’s he worked in two businesses, one on the East coast where he lived and one on the West coast. He traveled frequently across the country. He had a wife and children. He also had a political appointment. He was a walking request. When I would have lunch with him, he would request a synopsis of the menu so he could order. When the meal arrived he requested the placement of the food, e.g. meat at 2 o’clock etc. After that it was lunch with a brilliant man who engaged in exciting conversations. It was easy to forget he was blind because his requests made that challenge disappear.
Ask me! Ask me! You hear that on those inane pharmaceutical ads. I don’t believe serious medications ought to be advertised as though they were a breakfast cereal and I do believe that you should always be able to make requests when you are in the medical world. It is your job to make requests of your health care professionals. It is your job to get second opinions and your job to be a partner in your health care decisions.
Making requests for boundaries: physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual is very important. Some beginning rules for you to know:
– No one is allowed to tell you how you feel.
– No one is allowed to tell you what you like and dislike.
– No one is allowed to tell you the intention behind your actions or words.
– No one is allowed to do any thing in this domain without your
– In this country you are allowed to do your own reading and draw
your own conclusions about how life works.
– No one is allowed to touch/hit you without your permission.
Start by making one request a day. See what messages are present to try and stop you. Watch your body’s reaction as you actually ask for something for yourself or ask for help. Making requests is a very important component of our dignity. We need to feel that we are worthy so of course we can ask for things that are important to us.
© 2014 Anne Brown. Permission needed for reproduction in any form.