Category: Recovery
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Codependency and Narcissists: Let’s Make Something Go Right! (Part II)
In Part I, we discussed how the codependent is a perfect victim for the narcissists. We discussed our working definition of codependency: a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing themselves self and others. Codependents take care of others, often ignoring or tolerating their abuse, avoiding…
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Codependency and Narcissists: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Part I)
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For this discussion, we are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing themselves self and others. The people-pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of who we are trying to please. The focus of wanting…
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Codependency And #MeToo — A New Way Forward!
Recap So, to recap Part One, we discussed our history as women as it relates to our relationship with men and how up until the middle to late 20th century we didn’t have laws to protect us from abuses. Women, along with children, were the property of men. Men could abuse us with no consequences. We also…
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Sex and Codependents: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
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So many women I interviewed when writing my book reported saying yes to sex just to get the sex over with and have the person go away. Others reported saying yes to sex to have the person like them. Others reported gaining weight so they wouldn’t have to say no to dating and sex. Many…
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Common Sense Tools for the Friend of Someone Who is Brainwashed!
Most of us know or have known someone we care about who has come under the influence of a perpetrator using him/her for self-serving purposes. Very smart, educated, healthy people can, for some unknown, reason come under the spell of opportunistic, toxic, and insecure people. It is very puzzling for an observer of this phenomena…
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Common Sense Ways to Stay Friends With a Victim
Are you frustrated with someone you care about who appears to be the victim of a perpetrator? Do you find yourself getting angry for this person? We all have examples of these situations and we often struggle with what to say, how much time to spend with the victim, and how to continue being their…
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Codependency and Contentious Times (Part II)
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In Part I, we identified some areas of concern for the codependent during these contentious times. Now let’s look at some possible tools for the codependent to use. If you haven’t done your codependent work, now is the perfect time to begin. With social media, you can practice taking a stand for what is important…
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Codependency and Contentious Times – Part I
Probably the one area we can all agree is the idea that “these are contentious times.” What do contentious times in our country (if not the world), mean to the codependent? First let’s go back to our definition of codependency: Codependency is learned personality traits that negatively affect knowing one’s self and others. Codependents become dependent…
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Codependent or Loving? Part II
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Remember our question from Part One: How do I know if I am acting codependent or loving? Also, let’s review our definitions of “codependent” and “loving”: Love: An intense feeling of deep affection. For the purpose of this article, we will include some more distinctions of love: Brave Kind Trusting Codependency: Codependency, for the purpose of this…
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The Underbelly of Being Nice
Why do people fight so hard to be sweet, nice, and accommodating, rather than honest, genuine, and authentic? It is a great question. Cultures are set up and rewards are given if you follow the rules: always say yes, agree to everything, be nice, don’t rock the boat, and tell people things you think will…
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