Category: Relationship
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My Spouse Has Borderline Personality Disorder!
When your spouse has a Borderline Personality Disorder (BP), whether it’s a sudden realization or a long-known fact, it can be challenging. Those in relationships with BP individuals may be subject to unique forms of manipulation or toxicity. Recognizing these habits of BP is the first step to liberation. I will address different toxic tools here…
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The Agony of Saying No!
“Don’t give up! The beginning is always the hardest!” What stands in the way of you saying No? For some of us, just having the awareness starts us on a healthy path. We can begin to interrupt the automatic pattern of immediately saying Yes. We find tools to trick our body into saying nothing versus…
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Codependency and Narcissists: Let’s Make Something Go Right! (Part II)
In Part I, we discussed how the codependent is a perfect victim for the narcissists. We discussed our working definition of codependency: a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing themselves self and others. Codependents take care of others, often ignoring or tolerating their abuse, avoiding…
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Codependency and Narcissists: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Part I)
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For this discussion, we are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing themselves self and others. The people-pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of who we are trying to please. The focus of wanting…
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Healing From A Borderline Spouse
Stay or Leave? When I wrote about healing from the Narcissist, I used the paradigm that the spouse had physically left the marriage. Today we are going to address physically staying or leaving but always with the goal of emotionally leaving the emotional abuse of the spouse with borderline personality disorder (BP). I believe a…
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What Do Real Men Want? Real Women!
“In a world where you can be anything… be yourself!” “He /she makes me want to be the best person I can,” is music to my ears when I am working with people in the dating game. In this day and age life can be challenging and couples need to be real partners to succeed…
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Guidelines for Determining Toxic Relationships
Should I leave my relationship? This question is probably one of the top ten reasons people have come into my practice asking for help. I am a therapist who prefers to work preventatively. I would like someone who is in the market for a relationship to already be in therapy. A good therapist can evaluate…
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Say No to Abusive Relationships Forever!
Unfortunately, when you grow up with emotional or physical abuse your body can wire love and abuse together and it thinks that is normal. Some people who grew up with abuse have the ability and resilience to say NEVER again. Often we find if there was one person who provided unconditional love the child can…
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Codependency And #MeToo — A Brief History Of Abuse!
Our History When we look at the history of women as it relates to men, we see that it has only been in the last 100 years that we were given rights. Before we had rights, women and children were the property of men. Men could do with us whatever they pleased, whenever they pleased.…