Category: Self-Help
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My Spouse Has Borderline Personality Disorder!
When your spouse has a Borderline Personality Disorder (BP), whether it’s a sudden realization or a long-known fact, it can be challenging. Those in relationships with BP individuals may be subject to unique forms of manipulation or toxicity. Recognizing these habits of BP is the first step to liberation. I will address different toxic tools here…
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The Agony of Saying No!
“Don’t give up! The beginning is always the hardest!” What stands in the way of you saying No? For some of us, just having the awareness starts us on a healthy path. We can begin to interrupt the automatic pattern of immediately saying Yes. We find tools to trick our body into saying nothing versus…
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Strong Minds Accept No Graciously
What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. Tim Ferriss How did we become a society that cannot hear the word No? Why are we so sensitive to being told No? There is yes and there is No, there is night and day, dark and light, yin and yang, and…
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Codependency and Narcissists: Let’s Make Something Go Right! (Part II)
In Part I, we discussed how the codependent is a perfect victim for the narcissists. We discussed our working definition of codependency: a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing themselves self and others. Codependents take care of others, often ignoring or tolerating their abuse, avoiding…
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Codependency and Narcissists: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Part I)
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For this discussion, we are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing themselves self and others. The people-pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of who we are trying to please. The focus of wanting…
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Healing From A Borderline Spouse
Stay or Leave? When I wrote about healing from the Narcissist, I used the paradigm that the spouse had physically left the marriage. Today we are going to address physically staying or leaving but always with the goal of emotionally leaving the emotional abuse of the spouse with borderline personality disorder (BP). I believe a…
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NO is a Complete Sentence!
Last time, we introduced the importance of being able to say No. And for the purpose of this discussion, we are talking about people with equal status in the relationship. However, this does not include parent-child, teacher-student, or employer-employee. These relationships have different guidelines for dignity. The relationships we are talking about are people out…
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Santa Please Send My Christmas Backbone ASAP!
If you look at the tools in my book, you can design the Christmas holidays rather than be swept along in the disasters of the past. If you are one of those people who has been known to say, “I hate the holidays.” STOP and let’s start with new memories this year. Tough times never last,…
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Codependency And #MeToo — A Brief History Of Abuse!
Our History When we look at the history of women as it relates to men, we see that it has only been in the last 100 years that we were given rights. Before we had rights, women and children were the property of men. Men could do with us whatever they pleased, whenever they pleased.…