Tag: Living in Recovery
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Codependency and Narcissists: Let’s Make Something Go Right! (Part II)
In Part I, we discussed how the codependent is a perfect victim for the narcissists. We discussed our working definition of codependency: a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing themselves self and others. Codependents take care of others, often ignoring or tolerating their abuse, avoiding…
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Why is Giving Up People Pleasing So Difficult?
This question fascinates me because I have observed over many years many journeys where people struggle with this task (myself included.) Let’s take a look at some of my speculations. See what your thoughts might be on why People Pleasing is so challenging. Our History and Teachings For women, it is easy to look back…
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The Underbelly of Being Nice
Why do people fight so hard to be sweet, nice, and accommodating, rather than honest, genuine, and authentic? It is a great question. Cultures are set up and rewards are given if you follow the rules: always say yes, agree to everything, be nice, don’t rock the boat, and tell people things you think will…
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What Our Athletes Can Teach Us About Recovery!
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Last summer 2016 in particular, we had some pretty spectacular athletic competitions in England, France, and more recently, Rio. Whether you follow cycling, tennis or any of the competitions that took place in Rio, it is hard not to be inspired and learn from some of the stories. Stories and Goals First, all athletes come with…
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How to Get the Best Out of Your 12-Step Meeting!
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Attending a support group can be a very positive part of your recovery plan, as long as you understand what is healthy and what is dysfunctional. Let’s look at a few qualities of support groups and what happens when things get out of balance… Similarities vs Enmeshment When I join a support group and find…
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Recovery With a Capital R!
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Recovery is not something you just fall into because you stopped your addiction. It is imperative that you view Recovery as Active, Alive, Constantly Changing, a Verb…and something you never take for granted. Yes; there are simplistic things you can do (e.g. eat healthy, exercise, attend meetings, avoid triggers, go to work), but unless you really…
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Reinventing the Concepts of Recovery
Wouldn’t it be great if we could wave our magic wand and no one would relapse? Until we understand more about addictions (and we have work to do there), we will have to tackle relapse in other ways. Let’s look at a couple of possible breakdowns that might lead to relapse and find some ways…
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Internalize Your Recovery for Success: No Self Esteem, No Problem!
Knowing something is one thing and putting it into action is another. Recovery is an area where the action part is paramount! So how do we do this? How do we take what we learn from books, talking and screens and put it into action? Practice Saying No Personally, I believe if my clients haven’t…
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To Love From Recovery: 5 Tips for Success!
We will look to some of our strong recovery tools for answers to having a strong, successful love relationship. Many very wise people have told us “If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else.” It is important to love yourself in order to have a successful recovery. When you start here and apply…
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6 Tools for Resiliency in Recovery
Resiliency and Recovery have a nice ring. The two R’s! Having a backbone makes this process a lot easier. Resiliency is having the ability to adapt in the face of adversity. The more you know yourself, the greater your self-awareness, and the greater your backbone, the greater your chance for success in your recovery. Resiliency…
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